and tear ? To what degree can you strengthen it , but also give it enough flexibility to be durable and sustainable ?” Building resilience through practice allows us to return more readily to an “ unstretched ” state following stressful events . It does not , however , allow us to endure stress through sheer force of will .
own the pause
No two people experience stress in exactly the same way or for exactly the same reasons . However , the basic shape of our stress responses is the same . First , there ’ s a stimulus ( or “ trigger ”), followed by our response to it . In the sliver of space between the stimulus and the response , however , there exists an opportunity to set ourselves up for successfully reacting to stress .“ There ’ s always a gap between a trigger and how you deal with a trigger , and that is your freedom . You ’ ve got to own that space ,” said Weinraub .
One way to “ own ” that space , as Weinraub put it , is to identify and thoroughly familiarize yourself with your own triggers so that you might more effectively respond to them .“ You really have to know your triggers ; you can ’ t kind of have them in the back of your head . And when you know them in some way , you can almost begin to anticipate them , notice them before they get the better of you ,” Weinraub explained . It ’ s important to recognize that almost any experience can be a trigger . Whether yours is sitting down to family dinner after a long day of virtual meetings , checking your phone in the morning or hearing the barks of a new puppy at certain times of day , simply being familiar with those events likely to elevate your stress levels can make it easier to process and recover from them . If you know a potential trigger is on the horizon , acknowledge it and practice stress-reducing breathing or mindfulness techniques in response .
This is all , of course , easier said than done , which is why it ’ s also important to give yourself grace as you practice what may be an unfamiliar new habit . Even those with years of practice can still find themselves overwhelmed , and that ’ s okay . What ’ s critical is to simply continue the practice .
creating a stop list
The to-do list has long been a feature of our home and work lives . Often these lists become a source of stress themselves as they grow longer and crossing off every item becomes an impossibility . Though it likely isn ’ t
“ We are noticing that people confuse the word ‘ resilience ’ with the word ‘ endurance . We ’ re mistaking the two of them ; we ’ re thinking if we can just willpower our way through things , that means that we ’ re resilient , and I think that means that we are on a path toward burnout .”
— Renee Moorefield
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32 PULSE ■ JULY 2021